Last week I went to a funeral for a lovely man who died after a very full life and a struggle for five or six years with dementia. I really only knew him these past few years as he lost more and more of himself but I had heard many stories of his rigorous life from his dear friend. I found it a little disconcerting at the funeral, however, when no mention was made of these last few years. The man who was eulogized was the healthy, active, vital man who had been a huge part of this community for so many years. And maybe that was appropriate for those who had known him during those years. But for me who had only known him in the years of his vulnerability it was almost as if we didn't say goodbye to the man I had known.
I found this funeral sermon for a very vital man who died of dementia very moving and thought of C as I read it. It raises some interesting questions about 'knowing' and being 'known.'