Bonhoeffer on Grief

This was included in one of the sympathy cards my Mom received:

Nothing can make up for the absence of someone we love and it would be wrong to try to find a a substitute. We must simply hold out and see it through. That sounds very hard at first but at the same time it is a great consolation for the gap, as long as it remains unfilled, preserves the bond between us. It is nonsense to say that God fills the gap. God does not fill it but on the contrary keeps it empty and so helps us to keep alive our former communion with each other even at the cost of pain.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Garden

Since Robbie died I've been pouring energy into nurturing things, growing living things, feeding the birds, feeding friends, basically nesting. I took some pictures tonight with the help of a friend who is showing me all the cool things I can do with my camera. What fun.

After Grief - a poem by Dorothy Livesay

After Grief - Dorothy Livesay

Death halves us:
Every loss
Divides
Our narrowness
And we are less.

But more:
each losing’s an encore
of clapping hands
dreaming us on;
the same scene played once more
willing us grander than
we were:
no dwarf menines
but kings and queens.

and still, some say
death raises up
gathers the soul strong-limbed
above the common tide
to catch a glimpse
(over world’s wailing wall)
of an exultant countryside.

Rocky Rocks

I went this afternoon to see Rocky Balboa with a friend. We both really enjoyed it. I loved the first movie, enjoyed the next couple and winced at the last one. I was afraid that this one might be another lame 'comeback' movie but it turned out to be a film about loss and grief and finding ways to carry on.

The film opens on Adrian and Rocky's anniversary but Adrian has died of 'women's cancer' so Rocky drags Paulie with him on a tour of their first date. Eventually Rocky does end up back in the ring but the training and fight scenes are brief. Mostly the film deals with Rocky's struggles to come to terms with his life without Adrian and without boxing. It is poignant and a little sad and a little hopeful and maybe even a little joyful.