Being found out

This morning, when I left the house, I found an envelope stuck between my doors. In handwriting I recognize is a message: "Do not open until August 11th. Yes, you read that correctly. Be sure your sin will find you out."

I laughed as I read the note and rejoiced that my vacationing friends are thinking ahead to my birthday. I recognized the bible verse from when I was a kid and we would drive on the weekends to the lake. Every week we passed a pretty little white country church by the side of the road with a big sign outside which read, "Be sure your sin will find you out." I always thought the church was pretty but to a non-church going kid there was nothing welcoming about the sign. I used to think that going to church was like going for my yearly check up at the dentist: "Be sure we'll find those cavities." Maybe they were just being descriptive as certainly our sins have a way of turning around and biting us but I rather think not. This is about as inviting to me as the church not far from here that used to have a sign which read, "by invitation only." And I don't think they meant Jesus' invitation, "come unto me all ye who are weary...."

A Fitting End

Well, I've finished it and it was good. It was a good read and a satisfying end to the series. Seven is the Biblical number for completion and the story is complete. It is also ultimately a very Christian story despite all the fuss some Christians have made about the witchcraft in it.

Now to go see the new HP movie!

Loss to our Theology Reading Group

I found out yesterday that one of the members of our theology reading group died this week. Ken has been coming for years and I've so come to appreciate his thoughtfulness and his humour. This is the only picture I can find of Ken and it isn't typical because when I think of Ken I always think of his smile. He had an easy, warm smile.
I'm having a hard time getting my head around this.

Rest eternal grant unto him O Lord.
And let light perpetual shine upon him.

Potter identity

Your Harry Potter Alter Ego Is...?
created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Hermione Granger,You're one intelligent witch, but you have a hard time believing it and require constant reassurance. You are a very supportive friend who would do anything and everything to help her friends out.

Fully Known

Real Life Preacher has a wonderful blog on the difficulties of truly knowing and expressing who we are.

One of the poems in Walt Whitman's "Leaves of Grass" is called, "Song of Myself." That poem caught my attention the first time I read it, and I have contemplated its meaning many times since. Singing the song of yourself has a thrilling and dangerous appeal, like skinny-dipping or hitchhiking across the country with only twenty bucks in your pocket. Many times I have wanted to sing the song of myself, but I’ve never been willing to take the time or pay the price.

You can read the rest here.

I found myself very moved by this posting. I posted this comment.

Your words moved me deeply. I often reflect on Paul's words, "then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known." There appears (at least in the English translation) to be some ambiguity about whether the second part means, 'even as I am fully known now' or 'even as I will then be fully known.' The promise that I will be one day fully know seems to be a promise. The thought that God knows me fully now I find rather more terrifying.

The issue of sharing what I know of myself with others seems really complicated. A few of my friends and I have a little reading group and when we last met we talked about the problem of autobiography - that when I reveal something of myself it usually means I'm revealing something of those close to me. I find the same blogging, that I try to protect my friends' privacy as I write about my stuff. This just gets added to the fear that comes from singing the song of myself.

I reflect on the passage from Corinthians almost daily. At some church meetings once I asked a friend something about one of the bishops. He responded that if transparency was a quality of the episcopacy then we had few bishops in the church. I laughed but I've thought of that comment often because I don't think transparency is something only bishops should aspire to. Yet I see all the pitfalls RLP sees in expressing who you truly are and more. My own capacity for self-deception is great and so I struggle with whether I actually know myself well or not. And then, while I long to be fully known I am plagued by the fear that if I was fully known I wouldn't be liked because all those yucky parts of who I am would be out there.

I think the problem is a bigger one than just trying to know and express ourselves. The philosopher and novelist Iris Murdoch was concerned to show in her novels how we are constantly writing scripts in our head in which we are the main character and everyone else is just there to play a role in our drama. The critical moment in her novels come when the main character actually sees the other person and sees him/her as s/he is and not as an extension of himself or herself. She picked up Simone Weil's idea of the importance of 'paying attention.' So if we are to pay attention to ourselves, to know ourselves and to find expression for ourselves it can't be at the expense of knowing others, of paying attention to others. And this ties in to another comment left by someone on RLP's blog, that we aren't individual constructions but only exist in relationship to others. So the song of myself is essentially always a multi-voice polyphony.

Suburban Life

J & G's kids check out the ducks in their suburban lake.

My last day in Winnipeg was a lot of fun. Whenever I'm in Winnipeg I stay with my friends D & D and since I was there last they had moved into a really sweet house. It is a couple of houses off of Portage and walking distance to Assiniboine Park. In 10 or 15 mins you can be downtown and there are all sorts of restaurants and stores you can walk to. The trees are big and the houses are really interesting. When it was a suburb the houses probably looked a lot alike but over 80 or 90 years the houses have been changed and have taken on unique features. Some of the houses on their street look like houses at the lake with big screened in porches. There are a dozen houses on their street that I'd love to have.

Friday evening we went out to the suburbs to have dinner with other friends of mine. We had a delicious dinner and a really fun conversation but we also had our perennial debate about suburban life. J & G love living in the 'burbs and J has a missionary zeal trying to convince D & D that they should move out there too. They have a nice house and I'm really glad they are happy but when I walk around their neighbourhood all I can think is 'Stepford' - when I'm not singing Pete Seeger's classic - Little Boxes.

Home!

I'm home safe and sound after a long, hot but uneventful trip home. Stopped in the Hat for a delicious dinner with friends and then got back to Lethbridge in time to pick Robbie up from his sitters. He loves them and loves being there but he's always glad to see his mom. More thoughts on Winnipeg to come but now I'm going to go wash the trip off.