Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Praise Bands in Worship

I think I've read this before somewhere but I just read it again on the "Praise Bands Annoy God" group wall on Facebook. Thanks to Sean for posting it. It and some other funnies can be found here.

The Contemporary Worship Song vs. The Traditional Hymn

An old farmer went to the city one weekend and attended the big city church.
He came home and his wife asked him how it was. "Well", said the farmer, "It
was good. They did something different, however. They sung praise choruses
instead of hymns".

"Praise choruses?", asked the wife. "What are those?"

"Oh they're okay. They're sort of like hymns, only different", said the
farmer.

"Well, what's the difference?", asked the wife.

The farmer said "Well it¹s like this if I were to say to you "Martha, the
cows are in the corn" well that would be a hymn. If, on the other hand, I
were to say to you,

Martha, Martha, Martha,
Oh Martha, MARTHA, MARTHA!!!!
The cows, the big cows, the brown cows,
The black cows, the white cows, the black and white cows
The Cows, the COWS, the COWS are in the corn
Are in the corn
Are in the corn
In the corn, CORN, COOOOOOORRRRRNNNNNNN!

Then if I was to repeat the whole thing two or three times, well that would
be a praise chorus"!"

As luck would have it, the exact same Sunday a young, new Christian from the
city church attended the small town church. He came home and his wife asked
him how it was.

"Well", said the young man, "It was good. They did something different,
however. They sung hymns instead of regular songs".

"Hymns?", asked the wife. "What are those?"

"Oh they're okay. They're sort of like regular songs, only different", said
the farmer.

"Well, what's the difference?", asked the wife.

The Young man said "Well, it¹s like this if I were to say to you "Martha,
the cows are in the corn", well that would be a regular song. If, on the
other hand, I were to say to you,

Oh Martha, dear Martha, hear thou my cry
Inclinest thine ear to the words of my mouth.
Turn thou thy whole wondrous ear by and by
To the righteous, glorious truth.

For the way of the animals who can explain
There in their head is no shadow of sense
Hearkenest they in Gods sun or His rain
Unless from the mild tempting corn they are fenced.

Yea those cows in glad bovine, rebellious delight,
Have broken free their shackles, their warm pens eschewed.
Then goaded by minions of darkness and night
They all my mild Chilliwack sweet corn chewed.

So look to that bright shining day by and by,
Where all foul corruptions of earth and reborn
Where no vicious animal makes me soul cry
And I no longer see those foul cows in the corn.

Then if I were to do only verses one, three and four and change keys on the
last verse, well that would be a hymn.!"